Breaking Free from the Grip of Old Habits
Breaking free from old habits, whether they be good or bad, can be a daunting task. Over time, these habits become ingrained in us, and we start to identify them as an integral part of who we are. We even proclaim to ourselves and others, "This is just who I am!" - a not so subtle way of saying, "Deal with it, I'm not changing!"
However, this mindset is a mistake; it confuses character with behavior. Under normal circumstances, our character tends to remain relatively stable, but our habits, which are behaviors, can indeed be changed. This distinction is crucial, yet it's a mistake many of us make.
Consider that the habits that once served us well may have outlived their usefulness. As we age, inertia sets in, and we continue with familiar routines, unaware that some of these habits are now hindering rather than helping us.
The real revelation lies in recognizing that our success might be in spite of, not because of, some of our old habits. It's a paradox - habits that initially contribute to success can, over time, become obstacles.
A personal example
An old habit of me was to rely on my improvisation talent and creativity. This used to work fine, and it helped me to launch three startups. However, as these businesses began to grow, too much improvisation leads to chaotic situations, not enough structure and it’s making people insecure. Nowadays, I plan more, and I organize my work much better for myself and our teams. This leads more predictability and better results.
Deep down, I’m the same person. My character hasn’t changed. It’s just that my old habit was no longer effective. I needed to change to continue to make impact. And this is the paradox of success. I used coaching and changed some of my habits that no longer helped me.
Acknowledging and accepting this paradox is the first step toward personal and professional growth. Engaging with an executive coach can provide valuable insights and assistance in breaking through some of these barriers. Identifying which ones still work for you (and you want to keep), and which ones you prioritize to change.
Contemplate the opportunities for progress that open when we release ourselves from the shackles of outdated habits, both in our personal lives and professional endeavors. While change can be challenging, our habits are one aspect of ourselves that can be transformed, especially if we're willing to take that crucial step.
I feel fortunate to have witnessed this transformative process in numerous situations over the past decades.
“Enlightenment is when a wave realizes its the ocean.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Wishing you inspiration on your journey,
Paul Donkers
Paul P.J. Donkers is a sought-after global business coach and management consultant. More about his work and projects can be found via www.tencompany.org and via www.ikigaicoachinginstitute.com
Paul and his partners work since decades with leaders to assist them create more value. If you want to have a confidential conversation, just reach out to us via This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
