Disagreeing with your boss
If you’re one of those people that easily disagrees, and your boss is fine with your approach, this column is not for you. But for many of us, it’s regularly a challenge how to disagree effectively with our boss.
It is not effective to avoid disagreeing, saying nothing, while continuing to complain to other people or even sabotaging things behind her back. However, on the other side of the spectrum, challenging every decision she makes is certainly not recommended either.
When I was in the corporate world, there was a big difference regarding how people were approaching me if they disagreed. Some remained quiet, some were very vocal all the time and some were somewhere in the middle. But in the leadership role, you need people to speak up to you! Simply because it leads to better decisions for the business. So, I always tried to listen carefully to the people speaking up to me. It takes a bit of courage for most of us.
So, next time you disagree with your boss, how to speak up?
- Check: is this, right here, right now, the right timing to speak up to my boss? Or should I wait for a better moment?
- Check: is this the correct setting? Usually, disagreeing in a one-on-one setting is more effective than with other colleagues around.
- Check: is it worth it? Is it important enough for me or for the company to give my opinion?
- Do I have enough information to have an opinion about this? Or should I gather more insights first?
- Do I really need to have an opinion about this? Many of us fall into the trap of having opinions about almost everything. Well, guess what: you don’t. Positive side-effect is that you will probably have a happier life too!
- Am I calm and able to present my arguments in a structured way, differentiating between my feelings, rumors, anxieties and the facts and the data available?
- Am I able to present different scenarios? What are the costs and benefits of each option?
Influence what you can influence, let go of what you cannot influence. Business is a judgement call at the end of the day. Therefore, you better make peace with the decisions your boss makes. Your boss simply has the power to make them. The reality is, sometimes she’s going to be right, sometimes not. If you continue to have a hard time dealing with that, do some soul searching. Life is too short, decide if changing jobs or starting your own business is perhaps a better career choice for you?
Hope this inspires.
Paul Donkers
Paul P.J. Donkers is a sought-after global business coach and management consultant. More about his work and projects can be found via www.tencompany.org and via www.ikigaicoachinginstitute.com
Paul and his partners work since decades with leaders to assist them create more value. If you want to have a confidential conversation, just reach out to us via This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
